Reflection on the Scene:
Some of strengths in this scene is the dialogue and action that are going on. I find them realistic to read, because you can hear the characters saying that-- its not proper English, its how teenagers talk. I am most proud of this scene because its not only just dialogue, but there is ups and downs, fights and make ups throughout it. After reading this scene, you arn't bored. You're interested in whats going to happen next, which is what I tried to do.
My weaknesses of this scene is that I didn't have much description as to what each character is doing with their body movement. For example if a character looks up and makes eye contact, or rolls their eyes, or breathes heavily. I could have added more description to the scene as to where they are, and describe the setting and their surroundings.
If I had to rewrite the scene I definitely would add more actions. Instead of just person after person talking, add their emotions and body language that the character is giving off. I might break up some of the individual lines, to make the conversations more realistic because when someone is having a conversation with someone they don't normally talk in long sentences. They usually are broken up parts, sometimes interrupting each other which I wish i had added.
During the peer revision I received a lot of positive feedback on my scene I chose to share. The comments my peers gave me are very similar and almost identical to what I felt. They felt that there should have been more action and the sentences were a little bit too long for each person.
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